Hello December

There is blue here. Deep down inside. And I can't stop my self from repeat I'll be All Right (Anggun) again and again. It seems that I am on street, standing next to an old-dim-light-street lamp with the dark is all around together with the falling snow. A lonely feeling, but somehow it delivers a drop of peace that makes me feel at ease. I know my month is around the corner.


Hello December.

There is only me and my winamp in this messy room this morning. Sometimes I love this silence, help me refresh my mind and think better. Wish it won't last so soon.

I HATE D'Massiv. I really do. Hate their songs. Hate their lyrics. So pathetic and if you listen to them more than a hundred times, they will make you wonder what's the best way to commit a suicide.


Their songs teach you nothing but how blue your life is. They take you nowhere but to the nearest grocery shop to buy dozen packs of tissue so you can continue crying. And at last, they make you ask how much the rate of Monas entrance ticket so you can climb up and jump and by the next morning, you'll be on tv. 

If an application runs properly on client A but crash on client X, that's what we call bugs. And if bugs are so hard to trace they turn out to be very annoying. And if they are so hard to solved, they make you want to kill someone. Bugs causes are vary: it can be the data, the coding or the engine. All in all, they end up in the same result, a hope that the stupid machine we called computer can be a little bit smarter by fixing all bugs itself.

I am in Y right now, spend the Eid-ud Fitr holiday. Now do not think that this Y is my hometown, the only reason I am here is simply because I need fresh air. J sucks. Beside, Y is an unforgetable city and I always love to come back.

Yet, Y changes. And I an slowly miss the Y that I saw in the first time.

sebenarnya perjalanan hidup manusia dibagi tiga: di dunia, kubur dan akhirat. kalo anda bisa membaca tulisan ini berarti anda masih ada di dunia, dan berarti anda masih bisa melihat lawakan garing saat sahur di tv. layaknya perjalanan, sebaiknya kita membawa bekal. jika kita berjalan di dunia maka soal bekal bukan masalah besar. selama ada uang kertas atau uang plastik, kita bisa membeli kebutuhan dasar hidup (makanan, minuman, pakaian, henpon, pulsa etc...) di mana saja.


tapi jika perjalanan kita sudah berpindah ke alam kubur, ceritanya menjadi berbeda. di sana uang tidak berlaku. tidak ada yang menjual dan konsekuensi logisnya kita tidak bisa membeli soto mie bandung jika lapar dan es teler 77 jika haus. hal yang sama berlaku di alam akhirat. berbeda dengan dunia, di dua alam terakhir itu kita tidak bisa membeli jika butuh sesuatu, juga tidak bisa membuat sendiri jika ingin.


segala sesuatu yang diperlukan untuk perjalanan di dua alam terakhir hanya bisa disiapkan ketika kita masih berada di dunia. yang sering dilupakan orang, perlengkapan untuk perjalanan di alam kubur dan akhirat berbeda 180 derajat dengan perjalanan di dunia.


di dunia, kita butuh uang untuk beli bensin *jika naik kendaraan sendiri*, butuh uang plus senyum *jika naik taksi*, butuh uang plus sedikit kesabaran *jika sedang antri KFC saat lapar berat tapi ibu-ibu di depan sibuk menelepon teman gosipnya cuma untuk bertanya, you mo paha kanan atau kiri?*


di dunia, jika bepergian kita butuh ransel atau travel bag untuk memuat baju dan koleksi under wear. kita butuh bahan bacaan untuk teman menunggu waktu boarding yang luaaamaaaaaa. kita butuh henpon agar bisa kelihatan sibuk sms saat duduk menunggu kereta.


tapi di dua alam terakhir, kita tidak butuh uang. atau henpon. atau ransel seharga 150k di cihampelas bandung. di dunia, jika lapar atau haus kita tinggal menghubungi mbak pramugari yang akan mengantarkan semangkuk indomie rebus dengan topping telur dan sedikit sawi hijau plus segelas es teh manis, tapi di dua alam terakhir puasa kita yang akan menjadi penghilang lapar dan haus.


di dunia jika baju kita sudah saatnya diganti, ratusan kios ITC siap melayani tapi di dua alam terakhir, amal kebaikan kita yang akan menyelimuti tubuh kita. di dunia jika jalan yang ditempuh rusak dan bolong-bolong *padahal sudah taat bayar pajak* kita bisa dengan mudah memilih rute lain. di dua alam terakhir, sukar-tidaknya jalan yang dilalui tergantung pada ibadah kita di dunia.


kubur bisa menjadi tempat yang sempit, dingin dan gelap atau tempat yang terang, luas dan hangat, terserah keputusan kita selagi berada di dunia dan surga itu mahal.

I want a dinner in cozy place with nice music. Not the loud one of course. A steak or pasta will be fine and lemon tea perhaps? I don't drink if you think about wine. And I want the beach. So much I miss it.

if it is true the message didn't reach me because that kucrit does not convey it to me then I hate that kucrit most.  I do.

I would like to say happy birthday to wify. Happy birthday with thousand of huges and kisses *uh i love that part * and I sure you I only kiss my fave spots .

Last night I allow myself for a little bit break. I know I deserve it. So there it was, I found myself got in the line for a The Dark Knight ticket. The movie itself is awesome. People say it is the best Batman movie was ever made and I can't say anymore but totally agree. Joker is the master mind, the way he organize chaos and spread terror reminds me to another master mind which is more powerful and brilliant, the old-nearly-dead-man Palpatine.


I found out how I love the way Fox and Alfred speak. Morgan Freeman still at his best, I wish Fox will still with Wayne Enterprise. It is true that the story is full of surprise, I must say Nolan is genius. He returns the dark aura and therefore, saved Batman. Above all, I love the "dark knight" idea. White knight is tied by rules but dark one is not. A dark knight can do more than a fallen hero.

I miss the beach. Miss the sea, the wind, the ocean's song. Miss them all. It's been centuries since the last time I went to the beach and my hungry soul is crying for it. Can we go to the beach and sit down on the sand watching sunset? I love to.


By the way, jumper is suck. Lucky me I didn't watch it on theatre. Poor me for spend 7000 rupiah for such a boring dvd. I still see Anakin Skywalker in Hayden Christensen. Of course David is not Bruce Wayne nor Mc Load, only a teenage boy and definitely not a man.  Funny that I didn't expect David win. In fact I was on Rowland's side. I guess I still prefer Hiro Nakamura for a teleportable-character.

I have a new habit from Monday through Friday, every 20:30 wib: turn on tv and switch to trans7, watching this series. But unlike when I watched Picard and the gank, this time I only watch the first and the last 15 minutes of the show. The rest I skipped. Too many drama. Clark remains stupid, Lois is like a bitch-rouge and Lana is more Luthor than Luthor.

dengarlah matahariku
suara tangis hatiku

*agnes monica - matahariku*


I'm not a fans of her, just found out her lyrics above touches me as much as my hope that had started fade away, slowly.

been busy like hell, I still do not have much time to blogging around. Designing system never be as simple as it seems. You have to take all possibilities into account and once you think you did, you find out later you miss one. And that one could change the whole design. Beside, you still have to do your research. Like I said, I miss Kamino clone technology.


I shall leave a comment here that how I wish SBY-JK go to hell as soon as possible. I shall remember them as disaster builder. Enough with the fuel hike, both had shown their capability as leader and I believe we should not give them a second chance, especially JK.


And I'm tired with all of those uneducated people. Unfortunately I get my hands tied, otherwise I would be happy to break that jerk's hand. Still have no idea how come they survive and never learn anything. I watched Alien & Aliens last night, and perhaps send all of those jerk into alien's lair is not a bad idea at all. They may learn something.


I passed my exam. Though it means nothing right now, still it is a good news.

You won't see me blogging around for a time being. I decide to take my leave. And this "a time being" could be days, weeks, months or years, have no idea yet.


I would like also saying that life is not just living in this world we knew. There's the after life, and there's a huge difference between both. So,


till we meet again.

it is hurt to discover the fact
that even in the farest point of my dreams
i still find you there

HEH! I hate working on Saturday!!!!!

If you have to choose between love or friend, which one will you follow? Sometimes people must encourage themselves to stand againts the crowd, not an easy thing to do but decision must be made. Though some people say that friendships are worthy hundred times better but perhaps, following love is not a bad idea. You may get hurt and end up with nothing but this way helps you grow up hundred times faster. Your life will be much much richer than before.


Call me stupid, fool, stubborn or whatever you name it for standing against the world for a reason. If you question me then you should remember that a hawk never flies in group.

saya merasa aneh ketika menerima ucapan "hepi valentine day" karena empat alasan:
1. saya tidak merayakan valentine
2. saya tidak merayakan valentine
3. saya tidak merayakan valentine
4. yang mengucapkan itu cowok berkumis tebal

as for me myself, valentine tidak berarti apa-apa kecuali coklat-coklat mendadak hilang dari rak pajangan di minimarket, tv menayangkan film-film romantis, boneka beruang pink memegang bantal merah berbentuk hati bertuliskan love bertebaran dimana-mana dan toko-toko menawarkan barang dengan nuansa serba pink.

You can always run and escape but running away will never make you win.
I guess it is true.

I know it's been a century since my last post. Well I simply have nothing to share except the truth that I desperately need the Kamino cloning technology to help me clone my self. Handling three-four projects at the same time will be much easier then.

Lucas Entertainment ltd says that they will move Star Wars from movie to tv by launching Star Wars: The Clone Wars by the end of 2008. This will be a 100 episodes 3D CGI tv series. The series focus to Clone Wars which is take place between Star Wars: Attack of the Clone and Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Seeing the trailer, this should be full of sophisticated starships, light-saber duel, gunfire, starfighter combat and of course the drama.


Check out the trailer.


My comment? I want my cable tv!!!!!!!

Dalam cerita klasik Sia Tiauw Eng Hiong yang diterjemahkan menjadi Kisah Memanah Burung Rajawali, di ujung hidupnya Genghis Khan membanggakan wilayah kekuasaannya yang kala itu meliputi Asia Tengah, Asia Timur, sebagian Timur Tengah termasuk wilayah Iran, Irak dan Kuwait sekarang serta sebagian Eropa termasuk sebagian Rusia, Polandia dan Hungaria. Temujin bertanya adakah kerajaan lain yang bisa menandinginya


Putra-putranya menjawab tidak ada tapi Kwee Ceng, pemuda berkebangsaan Han yang tumbuh dalam asuhan Khan, balik bertanya ketika seseorang meninggal berapa luas tanah yang ia dapat? Temujin, The Great Khan dengan muka masam karena mengerti bobot pertanyaan sederhana itu membuka dua telapak tangannya selebar badannya.


"Seluas apapun tanah yang kau taklukkan Khan yang agung, pada akhirnya yang kau peroleh hanya seluas tubuhmu," berkata Kwee Ceng.


Tidak ada yang senang mendengar perkataan itu tapi tidak ada yang bisa membantah kebenaran kalimat Kwee Ceng. Beberapa hari kemudian Genghis Khan meninggal. Setelah menaklukkan berbagai wilayah dari timur hingga barat, akhirnya hanya tanah seluas tubuh yang ia miliki. Itu juga tidak jelas dimana lokasinya.


Maka lebih ariflah memandang dunia ini.

Percaya pada-Nya? Yakin kalau tidak ada kekuatan melebihi-Nya? Bahwa semua terjadi dengan izin-Nya? Bahwa Ia adalah Yang Esa dan baik-buruk adalah kuasa-Nya? Dan setelah berusaha maka segala urusan diserahkan pada-Nya?


Lantas kenapa kalian masih percaya kalau kejatuhan cicak atau menabrak kucing berarti sial atau nasib buruk? Sejak kapan peruntungan kalian ditentukan oleh seekor binatang? Lalu kenapa pula kalian masih membuang sesajen ke laut sebelum berlayar? Pada siapa sebenarnya kalian percaya? Dan apa perlunya sebelum pergi kalian menatap atap rumah agar nanti bisa kembali? Sejak kapan susunan genteng dari tanah liat buatan manusia berhak memutuskan seseorang bisa kembali atau tidak?


Dan kalian masih bertanya kenapa bencana terus menerus datang.

Cobalah menyetir malam-malam, saat lalu lintas tidak lagi ramai dan intensitasnya sudah turun. Tidak perlu ngebut, jalanlah santai sambil menikmati jalanan yang kosong dan kerlap-kerlip lampu kota. Putar musik bertempo lambat dengan lirik yang menyiratkan asa yang ingin dicapai.


Dalam kesendirian malam tiba-tiba rasanya sepi sekali.

I miss the sea. miss the wind. miss the wave.
sometimes I wish I can catch them all in my hands
for everytime my loneliness comes
I have a place to be at ease


and I won't be bothered by a little fact
that wherever I go
deep down inside here
my heart is still missing you

A few things have changed. First, I passed the exam and jump to the next level. Yet, it is only the beginning. Still a long road to go (and the winding one also, according to the Beatles). Second I got several news, apparently the bad news is also the good news and the good news obviously not the bad one. Complicated? Yeaaaahh....


Third, when you are in a team, you can't expect that the team will always match your speed.

You know, sometimes I just love being alone in this messy room. The reason is simple, I am free to play my fave songs with maximum volume and since there's no else, I don't have to worry that I will bother someone.


Yap. Like this time.

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you


Linkin Park feat. Jay - Numb/Encore

pulang ke kotamu
ada setangkup haru dalam rindu
masih seperti dulu
tiap sudut menyapaku bersahabat
...


Kla Project - Yogyakarta

I miss Yogya. I do.
Damn.

the organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkey on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

A management joke. Perhaps it is true. I'm not talking about the monkey but the fact that in an organization, you'll get nothing but asshole if you are not on the top of it.

Holiday is over and we're back to business. *Sigh*
I must say that I miss those days.