Waktu kelas dua sd, ibu guru memperkenalkan seorang murid baru. Perempuan. Kacamata tebal. Rambut ikal diikat ekor kuda. Satu hal yang menyolok, postur tubuhnya besar sekali, lebih besar dan tinggi dari semua anak laki-laki di kelas. Pertama kali dia muncul, seisi kelas menjadi riuh. Hampir semuanya meledek badannya yang extra jumbo. "Besar sekali". "Gajah bengkak". "Jumbo jet". "Awas raksasa". Kata-kata semacam itulah.


Dari barisan tengah, saya perhatikan si murid baru berjalan tergesa-gesa ke bangku yang ditunjuk guru. Mukanya agak nervous. Sebagian karena lingkungan baru. Sebagian lagi mungkin lantaran sambutan yang didapatnya. Baru juga masuk sudah begitu. Berbeda dengan yang lain, saya cuma diam melihat saja. Tidak ikut-ikutan meledek karena dalam hati justru saya jadi kasihan, membayangkan bila ada di posisinya. Poor girl. Selain kasihan, alasan lain saya tidak ikut arus karena orang tua mengajarkan anak-anaknya untuk tidak menjadikan keadaan fisik seseorang sebagai bahan ledekan, sekalipun cuma bercanda.


Sebab bukan kemauan kita lahir dengan kulit hitam legam, ukuran badan tidak biasa, mata juling, ukuran anggota tubuh yang tidak proporsional atau wajah di bawah standar sinetron punjabi. Kalau bisa memilih tentu penampilan semua orang bakal seragam. Semuanya jadi selebritis. Dan saya tentu sedang sibuk melayani fans wanita yang ingin foto bersama, tidur bersama, mandi bersama.. (hush!) *narsis.berat.com*


Sampai sekarang pun saya tetap merasa risih kalau ada yang menjadikan fisik seseorang sebagai gurauan. Pengalaman di kelas dua sd itu selalu teringat kembali. Meski dalam konteks bercanda tapi kita tidak pernah tahu tanggapan yang mendengarnya bagaimana. Dan kita tidak pernah tahu kapan ucapan kita berbalik menyerang kita. Jadi dari pada menambah dosa *yang udah numpuk ini*, seringkali saya memilih diam sajalah. Dibilang enggak asyik? Who cares! Dibilang terlalu serius? Hell with it! Kalau kena getahnya memang situ mau ikut bersihin? Toh untuk hal lain saya masih bisa bercanda. Nabi tidak pernah bergurau dengan fisik seseorang. Saya memang tidak bakal bisa satu surga dengannya *beda kelas bo!* tapi paling tidak mendekatilah.

A few ways to keep your spirit high:
1. Take a holiday
2. Take a holiday
3. Take a holiday
4. Take a holiday
5. Take a holiday
6. Take a holiday
7. Take a holiday
8. Take a holiday
9. Take a holiday
10.Take a holiday

Kalau ditelusuri garis keturunan maka nenek moyang saya adalah pedagang asal Cina yang menikah dengan penduduk asli bumi sriwijaya. Entah yang berasal dari Cina itu pihak laki-laki atau perempuan, yang jelas warga lokal yang dinikahi masih merupakan keturunan ningrat kerajaan. Oleh sebagian keluarga, gelar ningrat ini masih dipakai sampai sekarang. Kebetulan orang tua berpandangan moderat sehingga segala macam gelar kebangsawanan ditanggalkan. Toh dalam kenyatannya, hal semacam itu tidak banyak faedahnya di jaman sekarang.


Sampai ke generasi sekarang, yang masih tersisa dari darah tionghoa nenek moyang cuma warna kulit dan bentuk mata. Bukan cuma sekali kita disangka keturunan penduduk negeri tirai bambu. Kadang-kadang ini memudahkan ketika berbelanja di tempat-tempat mentereng atau kalau kebetulan penjualnya berperawakan mirip tapi di sisi lain menyulitkan kala menawar becak di Y atau sekedar mampir beli buah di pinggir jalan di puncak. Selalu dikasih harga lebih mahal. Diskriminasi ras akan selalu ada di Indonesia ini! Either you deny it or not.


Kayla sendiri bagaimana? Ia gadis campuran Palembang-Makassar. Keduanya darah pelaut, sama-sama keras. Dan memang sudah kelihatan adatnya kalau ada maunya. Harus dipenuhi atau ngamuk. Namun di sisi lain, ia juga gadis manis yang tak segan tersenyum, bahkan saat tidur sekalipun. Sering kalau lagi tidur tiba-tiba matanya terbuka, cengengesan sebentar pada orang di depannya lalu blek, pingsan lagi . Mudahan-mudahan ia menjadi orang yang sesuai dengan makna namanya.

Do you know that there is something which is so powerful that you can't ever resist? You can always leave it behind but wherever you run, somehow you always keep it with you for the entire life. This thing is the one that you can't control.


You don't want it to show up. But it does.
You don't want to remember it. But it is unforgetable.
You want to throw it away. But it is untouchable.


This something can share you smile or tears. It can bring to you joy or pain. But doesn't matter what it take, everytime it comes it will make you starring blank for a second. It never stays much longer than an eye blink, but it trace stays for days. Changing your day or just make you speechless, flying you back or this one has an absolute power to do so. This something is called memory.

"mohon maaf perjalanan anda terganggu karena ada galian bla bla bla..."
"maaf ada pekerjaan bla bla bla..."


oh fuck you. It successfully kept me on the same spot for more than two hours. Now who will pay for that? Sorry my ass. Just "sorry" is not enough you idiot!

Perhaps, the difference between us is: I am a challenge lover. Can't live without it. And I always want more and more. Want to be better. Want to achieve more. Because one thing I know for sure: there is no the best way but there is always a better way. And I never stop searching for that better way.


You might found it is exhausting trying to follow me, seems like a never ending journey. Take my advice: try to always think positive about everyone, everything. You just hurt yourself if you do the odds. And think simple. It surely makes your life easier. Like I said once before, I don't expect you to walk in my shoes but at least you can follow me and not left behind so far. To do that you just have to push yourself a little bit harder. And that's all.

Peraturan kalau Kayla mau tidur:


1. Lampu kamar harus dimatikan, diganti dengan lampu tidur.
2. Baca doa dulu lalu putar musik atau minimal berdendang.
3. Tidak ada yang boleh keluar masuk kamar. Haram hukumnya.
4. Tidak ada barang apapun di depan dia ketika dibaringkan di kasur. Artinya tidak ada yang boleh berbaring di hadapan dia kecuali kalau tidurnya sudah lelap. Guling di depan dia aja ditendang koq sama kakinya yang kecil. Perkecualian buat ayah sebab Kayla hobi megangin muka ayah sebelum bubu.
5. Tidak ada yang boleh mengobrol. Nanti Kayla malah ikut dengerin dan cengengesan.
6. Suasana harus tenang jadi pintu kamar harus ditutup supaya suara-suara yang menggelegar di luar enggak masuk ke dalam.

Do you think changing the foundation of a solid-running-well system is a piece of cake? I don't think so! There are sooooooooooooooooo many things to take into account. Sooooooooooooo many new bugs will come. And sooooooooooooooooooo much effort needed. Now, where the hell is my phoenix wand when I need it? I remember Harry give it to me a long time ago.

For you who want this toy, ok I'll buy for each one of you if the following conditions below had been met:


1. You buy me this first:



2. Or my monthly income is no less than 55 million rupiah (nett) for at least two years.


There, you have your option.

A good system is the one that depend to the system itself, not to a certain person. Not to the admin beyond, not to the developer. As for this, I don't think ours had met that qualification. I'm not expect you to walk in my shoes, it is too hard and almost impossible I know, but at least you can follow me and not left behind so far. It is not for me, not for you but the survival of all of us. Have you ever think about it?


I can simply walk away and ignore it all but I didn't. I choose to stay here and as long as I am here then I am here. If the day had come and I fly away, that would be another story. So are you with me or are you not? If I am one of the Sith lord I would say if you're not with me then you're my enemy *I know someone who will repeat the tag line *, thankfully I'm not. I'm not deal with absolute and still seeing you as a friend of mine. *Jedi rules! Yeah!*


Now can we escape to Y???

mau dunk atu!

i don't mind if hawk buy me this one.... ;)
pliz dear..? muach..muach.. :x

I say good if it is good and vice versa. If you prefer the lie instead of the truth then I believe you won't be ease with me. Take my advice: don't take it personal.


I've just completed Star Wars III *again* and the more I feel sorry for Padme, and the more it convinces me that although space is vast but there's no room for Sith. So long live the Jedi! Yeah!! *I know someone who will shout the opposite * In lately New Republic era, Luke is now an old-wise-most powerful and most respectful Jedi Master. Just like Yoda in the Old Republic era.


There will be major changes in our back bone system, one thing that I try to avoid it at all cost for so long but this time it seems that I can't afford it. Huh, I wonder if this time it's not just me and myself. I'm ready to take the next step. Hope that it'll be ok.

happy 2nd wedding anniversary..

this day, exactly 2 years ago........

ya, seperti kebanyakan wedding stories laennya, full of panic but also joy and happiness. hehe.
detilnya gue sih masih inget, tapi sampe sekarang blom sempat aja ditulis ato diarsipkan.
another faktor males Mode: ON.

yang jelas gak berasa aja hari ini dah 2 taon.
udah ada kayla yang udah berumur setaon. udah jadi parents.
gak kayak beberapa taon sebelumnya yang masih pacaran,
semuanya berasa dunia kita berdua aja.

well, to my beloved hubby...
today, 4 December 2006, is exactly our 2nd wedding anniversary..
thank you for the joy and happiness, also sad and tears, and anything
had happened together with you. thanks 4 being a good companion for all this time.
thanks for being my good adviser, someone to debate with, a brother to rely on,
a lovely and good father to our Kayla, a great lover and gently leader of the family.
i love you so much dear and so does Kayla, i thought...

may our love stories
will live happily ever after..

Hari Sabtu masih lama ya?

@Senin, 04:45 am
*lagimales.com*