sometimes i wonder what if we can choose to whom we want to fall in love with? though it doesn't matter if the person feels the same way but we might only choose the one who love us as much as we do. coz no one wants to have a broken heart.


and we might pick the one which is: good looking, intelligence, good sense of humor, slim, tall, white/black/red/brown *which one you like*, rich, honest, loyal, take care of us bla bla bla.. coz everyone wants to have their dream prince/princess.


but as human, we have no such that ability. we can control our emotion but not our feeling. furthermore, how do we know that person loves us if none of us make the first move. once we get a positive signal, we would be able to decide either to go on or to leave it.


sometimes i wonder what if we have the ability to see if this relationship can continue or will end up in tears. therefor there'll be no more broken hearted people, yet on the other hand we may lose something, a chance to make ourselves stronger and be a more mature, wiser person. though pain is hurt but it helps us building our characters and mental.


i often found myself smiling alone while reading someone else's love story. it's a fun after all, regardless its ending.

i like to say to all of you who consider yourself as a webmaster: never ever ever fill your page with suck script that need to access certain ActiveX control of lib file.


okay light script is ok but not a heavy one. it makes the page so damn slow and oftenly doesn't downloaded completely. and trust me, instead of making your site looks better it felt very annoying. i found it here and another one here and i'm not happy with it.


i configure my browser to prompt if there's any script wants to run ActiveX control in my local HDD. if it's unsafe then forget it. i choose to have a healthy system instead of letting anyone sneak into and do something and it all ends up in a crash boom bang of my WinXP.

*. the difference between rich and poor countries is not their age:
Egypt and India are more than 2000 y.o and still poor
Canada and New Zealand are much younger and rich


*. the difference between rich and poor countries doesn't reside on available resources:
Japan has minimum nat resource but it is in the second world economy
Indonesian, well, you know deh.


*. the difference between rich and poor countries is not the skin color or race


the diffs are:
1. ethics as basic principles
2. integrity
3. responsibility
4. respect to the laws and rules
5. respect to the right of other citizens
6. work loving
7. strive for saving and investment
8. will of super action
9. punctuality


in poor country only minority follow those in their daily life while the rest follow their instinct like animal and give up to their cupidity.

we, all the staffs and some 'not so big' boss, will held kinda trip to Bandung next saturday. so, i was pointed as one of two staffs as co-ordinator to manage the event. starting to arrange the budget for 2 days trip, the accomodation, transportaion, drinks n foods, etc, etc. well, the day left for preparing still today and friday, since starting tomorrow till next thurday, i will join kinda a short-training at Bidakara Build. complex.

i wonder when jakarta will have a clean-fast-on time-affordable fare MRT like spore's. i wonder when this huge kampoeng doesn't transform into a huge swimming pool right after the rain comes. i wonder when those jerk motorist know the meaning of rules and learn to obey it. so people, if you come to jakarta pls don't forget to bring your sexiest swimsuit since you'll find water around you each time it rains. no charge at all. it is free and if you're lucky, you might find your picture inside Popular or FHM.


my bus -an orange metro mini- hit a jeep on a street race with the other bus. people would say that they were "kebut-kebutan ngejar setoran". the jeep driver ran into that jerk bus driver and they were quarreling, force the passenger into to transfer to another bus. the funny and stupid thing as well, the other fellow passenger blame the jeep driver for this situation. huah, nenek-nenek geblek can't she see who's innocent in this case? who's the one which did the race in the middle of heavy traffic? who hit who? i bet if she was in the jeep she would said the backward. some people still can't admit if they were wrong and choose to hide behind their ego instead.

i just dropping by at this really nice and fantastic site of fairy and found so many nice and interested articles of hers. good writing and really really nice stories you have. thanks to Ann. i have the link from her site. knowing that actually many Malay People *i just got two person actually* were so fascinated to Indonesia. nice to know you, girls!

ada apa dengan cinta?
sakitnya mengutuk tubuhmu,
perihnya merontokkan jiwamu,


atau ada yang salah pada dirimu?
hingga tak jua kau mengerti
kenapa ia meluluhlantahkan keabadian dalam hatimu
mengkonyak-konyak relung terdalam
atas cintamu. dirimu. jiwamu.
hingga ia kosong.
tak berbekas.
hilang.


Note:
a touching circumstances, at one site i just dropped by, interested me to post the above ones.
well, sometimes love can be so hurts. it kill the heart and remain deep pain inside.

my boss told me that i've been arranged to join a kind of leadership skill training. the problem is it will be delivered during the whole Feb, twice a week. ups, i think it'll be hard to go to Y if the sched can't be compromised

with some co-workers finnaly i have a chance to visit this place.
it's just a sight seeing for me actually, since it was my friends and boss who exactly much interested to do some 'investment' here. so, we went along to Balaraja, exactly jl. raya serang, maybe not so far away from bulbul's office. the environment not so bad. seemed quite comfortable for living. and the price are much better and can be achieved, i guess. just one thing. that it's quite far from the center of jakarta. thinking that people have to pass kebon jeruk-tomang area which is known as so crowded streets either in the morning and afternoon. well, living in jakarta means must ready to pay in high price, indeed.

here are some quotes from my personal agenda:


*- in trends follow the crowd, in principles stand firm like a rock
*- a good reputation is one's greatest asset
*- people can be stronger by eating and wiser by reading
*- bird needs nests spider needs webs people need friendship and i need you



note: the last four words of the last sentences are mine

it is funny how people make commitment to themselves on each new year eve likewise "must save..", "must love him/her better", "must this must that" but then easily forget it with thousand of excuses. you have to be realistic and do not put a target beyond your range to shoot it. more important, do not make a promise that you can not keep. the world will consider you as a lame, childish and kind of talk only no action person.


more over be honest to your self and avoid to blame the others. objective and honest is one requirement to be a charm, integrity person. and do remember what you've said and be consistent unless there's a major force or under certain circumtances that out of your ability to handle it coz lying and plin-plan go to hell

good news: i return after hundreds of effort to access it always end up in "opening page...." but the page was never showed up.


bad news: i still can't access it any time like i used to do. there's time when the page never downloaded completely or send a sweet nice "time out connection" message.

kaleidoskop 2003

inspired by this friend of mine story, so here it is my short story, i call as kaleidoskop 2003:


Des 2002: mid Des akhirnya mulai masuk di tempat kerja baru. kena post power syndrome dikit, soalnya mulai dari awal lagi, seems so different then my previous place :( by the way at end of Dec, contact someone for his b'day.


Jan: Taun baruan bersama anak" KG. beberapa hari kemudian, for the second times, finally i met him again, after our first 'date' about 6 months ago, then just communication by phone, sms or imel.


Feb: what a beautiful months. awal feb, ada gath official pertama kali bersama forum. and not so long after this event, surprise, he 'proposed' me to be his closest friend. the only ONE for him, vice versa. so, we decided to be together, as a very very special person to each other.


Maret: i kinda forgot what happened during this month, unless much of them was happy.. happy.. happy.. with him.


April: at third week, take a short vacation to Jogja, with him, for the first time. spend the days by searching all through the city.


May: spend the long weekeend around Jakarta. end of this month, i and several co-workers take some fun in Bandung.


Juny: my first official trip *at the new office*, going to Pontianak.


July: end of this month till mid of august, ikut diklat prajabatan di Asrama Haji, Pondok Gede.


Agustus: spend my birthday at the training center i mentioned above. at the middle of months, going to this place with him and some co-workers.


Sept: so many activities at the office. mudik to Jogja at the third week. alone.


Oct: i started to try selling some cookies my mum made, to the office. it's not so bad. thought that i was succeed enough to make them sold out till around lebaran days.


Nov: spent the Iedul Fitri days at Makassar, my originally home town *after Jogja* with the whole family and relatives.


Dec: it's his b'day again! we spent it at hanamasa just yesterday. he treat me so well. i think it's kinda sweet replacement, since he can't spend the new year 2004 eve with me. after all, despite everything we through all this time both the bad and good time, i would like to say much much thank you to you dear, for this almost one year together with you..

my sweetheart...
if you ask me how deep my love is, then what should i say?
is it as wide as the ocean? is it deeper than the deepest sea?
or maybe is it higher than even the highest mountain in the world?
sure, the answer must be: "No"


my love is uncountable in value.
coz it can't be compared with anything in this world,
insted of the love from you itself.


my love is nothing without your love.
my soul is empty without its mate.
my heart is crying without you beside.


so, how deep my love is?
even thousand words can't say it!
it's undescribeable.
unless, it is true and forever.


how deep is your love?
a question in the middle of the day @ 1 January 2004

do you believe that in this 21st century some people still have no idea how to use ATM? in addition, they think if they transfer Rp 20.000 into someone's else account they will be richer Rp 20.000 i might add that they do not know how to "read" the instruction. speaking about low educated people, indo is truly rich of them.


tell me your name, well, at least the first alphabet of it and find out how your sex appeal is:


E:

Kebutuhan terbesar Anda adalah bicara. Jika teman kencan Anda bukan pendengar yang baik, hubungan Anda bisa buruk. Pasangan Anda harus menarik secara intelektual. Jika tidak, Anda tak akan tertarik secara seksual padanya. Anda butuh teman untuk seorang kekasih sekaligus pendamping untuk teman tidur. Anda membenci ketidakharmonisan dan gangguan tetapi menikmati perdebatan sesekali. Anda senang main mata karena tantangan lebih penting dibanding tindakan seksual. Namun sekali Anda memberikan hati, Anda adalah orang yang sangat setia. Ketika Anda tak punya teman tidur yang baik, Anda akan tertidur dengan sebuah buku bagus di sisi Anda. (Terkadang, dalam kenyataan Anda lebih memilih buku yang baik).


sorry guys, only available in indo version. source: here